The College of Pastoral Supervision & Psychotherapy is a theologically based covenant community, dedicated to "recovery of the soul" and promoting competency in the clinical pastoral field.
« May 2010 | Main | July 2010 »
Frank McGuire was a 51-year-old white United Methodist minister dying of pancreatic cancer, who wanted to share a message with people, but was to weak to put his thoughts on paper. So I volunteered to write down what he wanted to say. We did not meet in the hospital, but in his home in Virginia where I drove to see him. The year was 1991. A social worker as well as a minister, Frank and I were longtime close friends. We did street work together night after night during the summer of 1968, when thousands of so-called “hippies” flocked to the Boston Common. Having grown up in a tough neighborhood in St. Louis, Frank was most effective in diffusing tension, breaking up fights, and stabilizing violence-prone situations. And now he wanted to share with people the biggest fight of his life.
Frank had great difficulty communicating to me what he wanted to tell people. He had been tall and stocky, but was now extremely thin and weak, and his hair prematurely white. At times, during our conversation, his voice would grow faint and fade and his eyes would close.
“ One of the things I always feared was cancer,” Frank began. “When the doctor told me that a cat scan revealed I had pancreatic cancer in a very advanced stage and only had six months, plus or minus, to live, I was naturally scared. But there wasn’t anything I could do about it except determine my attitude.”
Frank’s attitude was one of the messages he wanted to share with people. “I could either roll over and die, and some people literally do that. Or I could acquiesce, go along with it, not do much of anything, give in. Or I could fight it, go down kicking. I was determined I wasn’t going to die just by giving up. No matter what the quality of life was toward the end,” he continued, “it was still more important than not having any life. The more you give in the less quality you have.”
When I asked what he meant by quality of life, Frank responded, “Enjoyability. Just having more fun in any way you can. Whether it be a day trip, watching a movie, listening to a piece of music, learning new things.” He even “tried to learn how to operate a Macintosh Computer.” His point: “If you are obsessed with what you are not able to do, you will be blind to the new opportunities.”
Throughout my visit, Frank struggled against the adverse effects of the medicine he took to ease his pain. “There are days when it’s rough,” he said. “Two days ago I woke up and felt like I didn’t have any coping mechanisms whatsoever. There are certain unknowns.” Frank hesitated, groping for words. He welled up. “You don’t have much strength. You’re weaker. And you worry.” He stopped and broke down. I did not know what to say to comfort him. Trying to push aside my own uneasiness and hesitation, I reached out and held his hand. After a moment, he continued through sobs, “You worry about how much time you have left. And yet the one thing I try to balance that off with is that there’s no sense of worrying how much time you don’t have left. It’s more important,” he said, “to deal with what you do have left. You could become awfully morose and despairing.”
Frank regained his composure. “No matter how bad things work, there are still things that are good. And to not get stuck worrying that you may be at the end of your life. That you know is close. Probably not as close as you are feeling. It’s close.” He then said, “Do the best you can and the most that you can, because there will come a time when you won’t be able to do that.”
Frank wanted to tell people that the most important possession they have is life itself. “So often I hear a person say, ‘Life isn’t worth a dam.’ I would ask him what he would do if he went to a doctor this afternoon and was told, ‘Mr. Jones, you have two months to live.’ ‘How would you live it?’ I would tell him to think about everything he would like to do, and do as many of them within the possibilities of time and finances. I would tell him to keep living.” I responded, “That’s what you have been doing, Frank.”
Frank also wanted to share with people his understanding of faith. “My life takes its course from an understanding of God as Creator,” he said. “God does not cause cancer. Having cancer does not mean unfaithfulness. God,” he continued, “wants us to live not die. I think God wants us to reach our potential no matter what the circumstances are.” He then said, “I believe that God wants people to be able to forgive themselves for what they may feel guilty about rather than continue punishing themselves. I also think God would want people to walk humbly, love their neighbor, do justice.”
Frank himself gave flesh and blood meaning to the prophetic message of “preaching good news to the poor.” As Chairperson of Social Work for Area 2 of Fairfax County (Virginia) Public Schools, he helped to established a breakfast program for poor immigrant children in one school, which led other schools in the Area to adopt the program. Frank said, “A kid who comes to school with an empty stomach is not apt to pay attention and learn as well.” Frank was making an important point: a full stomach feeds a hungry mind.
Frank saw my writing down what he wanted to tell people as “one of the last ministries I could do. I would like to give people a message of hope,” he explained. “Don’t despair when you are confronted with a debilitating or life-threatening disease. You can go on. The sun comes up each day whether you can see it or not. We can be part of that sunrise. It gives us another opportunity to deal with obstacles.” He concluded, “Not all has ended. I hope that people will be able to find within themselves the ability to see there is a glowing light to tap into that could help them.”
A few weeks later when I called Frank to discuss the first draft of what I had written, his wife, Judy, answered the telephone with sad news. “Frank died this morning,” she said. During a subsequent telephone conversation, Judy talked about a trip Frank and she took three months earlier to the Red Woods in California and Crater Lake in Oregon. She stated, “Frank always had wanted to go to Crater Lake, as it is one of the most impressive sights you would want to see. TWA was offering $99 tickets to San Francisco and Los Angeles, so we went.” She then said, “We drove for eight days in California and Oregon. No matter how sick Frank was, he wound himself up to do that. They said he would be dead in six months,” she went on, “but he was traveling in California and sending post cards back home to people. He got a kick out of that.”
Rev. Franklin W. McGuire, MSW is his real name.
___________________________
Bill Alberts is a hospital chaplain at Boston Medical Center. Dr. Alberts is a nationally known writer and an occasional contributor to Counterpunch. In addition, he is convener of the New England Chapter of CPSP. He can be reached at william.alberts@bmc.org.
Posted by Perry Miller, Editor at 6:17 PM
Francine Hernandez, NCTS Coordinator, announces that the fall 2010 gathering of the CPSP National Clinical Training Seminar will occur October 11 and 12th, 2010. IMPORTANT: The event will be held in a new venue: Stella Maris Retreat Center located at 981 Ocean Avenue, Elberon, NJ 07740.
The featured presenter will be Joseph M. Kramp, a doctoral candidate in psychology of religion at Drew University. He holds the M.Div. from Princeton Theological Seminary and has completed the Clinical Pastoral Education internship and residency at
BroMenn Hospital (Bloomington, IL) and Sequoia Hospital (Redwood City, CA). His dissertation topic is a psychological biography of Ralph Waldo Emerson.
As always, central to the mission of the NCTS is clinical case presentation and consultation within the context of psychodynamic small group process. All participants are to prepare and bring clinical cases for reflection and review.
Additional NCTS information, including the NCTS Registration Form will be will be posted on the PR in the near future.
Mark your calendar and make you plans to attend the NCTS this fall.
Contact Francine Hernandez for additional information.
Posted by Perry Miller, Editor at 5:31 PM
The Rev. Doctor John Edgerton, CPSP President, will be attending the Annual Meeting of the Association of Pastoral Supervisors and Educators (APSE) held in Nottingham, England on June 24, 2010. He will be representing CPSP and will bring greetings from our community.
The Reverend Robin Shohet will deliver the Keynote Address, Passionate & Spirited Supervision.
The APSE is a recently formed pastoral organization committed to the mission of advancing Clinical Pastoral Education in the UK. The history and story of the APSE seems reflective of CPSP's meager beginnings where only a handful gather to launch a movement.
We of the CPSP Community wish our friends and colleagues in the UK well as they gatherer to consider significant and practical issues in the field of clinical pastoral supervision.
Perry Miller, Editor
_________________________
John Edgerton can be contacted by clicking here.
Posted by Perry Miller, Editor at 4:24 PM
I am sitting on the edge of a hospital bed. The bed across from me is made with the obligatory quilt and stuffed animal on the pillow. The space is cluttered with the remains of a life forced to give up belongings, independence and the hopes of a long healthy life. The bed next to it is surrounded by padding on the floor to protect one from a fall, a symbol of both the fragility of the body and of life.
I sit with my mother now in the middle stage of Alzheimer’s. She too, is surrounded by what remains of her life: a silk flower arrangement to brighten up the room, a crucifix, a picture frame, a radio. Her bed is close to the ground to lessen the likelihood of a fall. Her closet, once filled with designer clothes and more than a hundred pairs of shoes is now two feet wide and filled with elastic waist pants and shirts that have become stained and beaten by the commercial laundry machines. Her shoe collection is now an array of slip-ons and Velcro strap shoes designed for ease and stability and definitely not for looks.
My mother’s disease has progressed rapidly over the last 18 months. She has gone from living in her own apartment, to assisted living and now a nursing home. She is relaying to me her boredom, depression and lack of meaning in her life. She struggles with word retrieval making it hard for her to communicate what she is thinking and feeling. Sometimes I can’t make sense of what she is saying. I sit quietly. She says to me “You’re not saying anything.” She’s right. I don’t know what to say. This is what brought me to Clinical Pastoral Education Training.
What started as a desire for skills, training, and knowledge turned into a unit of self-discovery, education, challenges and camaraderie peppered with moments of ultimate joy and appreciation to utter heart break. When I chose my site placement, a mother’s and children’s homeless shelter, I wanted something outside of my comfort zone to challenge me professionally, educationally and spiritually. Despite our obvious differences, our similarities as mothers created a space for trust and security which led to, not only moments of connection between us, but opened up a portal into my own struggles with transition and uncertainty, and magnified my frustration with injustice, inequality and bureaucracies. I learned about the world of domestic violence, sexual abuse and living in recovery. I recognized the effects of trauma in both the women and the children they were caring for. I was pushed to the limit of my emotions, and into the depths of my soul.
When I take on a commitment to education, I approach it with an attitude of “all in.” I embarked on my seminar experience with my peers and supervisors with goals of giving and taking feedback, active listening and self-care. What I didn’t expect, but what became one of my greatest gifts and lessons, was a “calling out” by my peers on what I felt was more of a personal/moral issue than about professional interaction with my clients. What this forced me to do was look at my values and beliefs surrounding my boundaries of ministry. It confirmed to me my passion for working on the edge, and in a manner that is nontraditional and uncomfortable for most. I have laughed, cried and confided my personal vulnerabilities during case studies, group and supervision. I have discovered, unearthed and addressed my own issues surrounding my pastoral authority, insecurities, innocence, defensiveness and confidence.
People in the photo: Back row, left to right: Ken Williams, Cesar Espineda, Charles Monaco, Andrew Harriott, Joan Alevras Front row, left to right: Elaine Barry, Lisa Mollusky, Maria Scaros-Mercado, Mary Barberio
Missing from the photo: Jodey Williams
My peers and supervisors have created a network of support, guidance and knowledge for me. I am proud of the work I have done, and the diversity of our group and our assignments. We covered a field of ministry from AIDS patients, the elderly, the sick, the homeless, the abused, to the wounded, the innocent victim and the invisible and forgotten.
As the mother of an autistic young adult child, I have had to fight for people to look beyond the diagnosis, the behaviors and the deficits to the person who lies beneath and who is loving and caring and shares the same frustrations and emotions as all “normal” beings. Boisen’s clarity of “the human living document” and the need to attend to the spiritual needs of everyone reminds me of the struggles I have witnessed in the world of the disabled to be understood, loved and cared for.
Watching my children maneuver through the confusing and sometimes tumultuous world of adolescence, and into young adulthood has opened me up to the world of uncertainties, fears and rites of passage. It has opened me up to understanding how important it is to have a spiritual companion and guide for that journey. Companioning my husband through unemployment, my son through a serious injury and my mother through the aging process has afforded me the opportunity to understand the struggles of life and the importance of faith and spiritual guidance.
Over the months of my first CPE unit, I have analyzed my relationship with my family and friends, my health, my mortality and the meaning of my life. I have not only looked at my clients’ views of the divine, grace, and providence, but I have wrestled with my own understanding of these and how they affect my life and my ministry.
I began my CPE journey looking for a tool to gain skills in dealing with some of life’s big issues. I didn’t think of myself as a chaplain, and didn’t think I would continue on past my first unit. I ended my first unit not only proud of the work that I had done, but proud of all chaplains and the work that they are doing. In the beginning, people would ask me why I was doing this and what the difference was between chaplaincy and “regular” ministry. I didn’t really know and surely couldn’t explain it. It has been a gift to discover the challenges and treasures of chaplaincy. As I came to understand the process and results of being an effective chaplain, it unveiled to me a world of joy and pain, pride and shame, success and failure and unending circumstances, possibilities and relationships. I am honored to call myself a chaplain and to work with amazing individuals within this community of the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy (CPSP).
I sit across from my mother who is now in a wheelchair. There are no more conversations, and very few words or recognition. I still don’t say much, and much of our time is spent in silence. But the difference now is that the silence is not a result of my being uncomfortable, but of my understanding.
________________________
Lisa Mollusky is an ordained interfaith minister from One Spirit Interfaith Seminary/One Spirit Learning Alliance in New York City. To contact Lisa Mollusky, click here.
The CPE Training Program was the first unit offered in this institution by Elaine Barry (SIT) and Cesar Espineda (TS).
Posted by Perry Miller, Editor at 9:37 PM
Planning has begun for the 2011 CPSP Plenary at Virginia Beach on March 27 - 30, 2011. This year we will again precede the Plenary with workshops offered to all members and guests.
We invite persons interested in offering such a workshop to write a summary with name and subject of workshop to Al Henager, 2011 CPSP Plenary Workshop Coordinator. Please be sure to put Plenary Workshop in the subject area when sending Al Henager your email.
All workshops will be reviewed by the CPSP Annual Conference Committee and subsequently scheduled. If you have any further questions, contact Al Henager.
Thank you!
Barbara A. McGuire
CPSP Registrar
Posted by Perry Miller, Editor at 11:23 AM
CPSP Delegation members, Annari Griesel, John deVelder, and Rabbi Dr. Einat Ramon, who helped initiate CPE in Israel
More than five years ago, the Executive Director of the National Association of Jewish Chaplains, Cecille Asekoff had a dream of starting CPE in Israel. Rabbi Zahara Davidowitz has fulfilled that dream by supervising CPE for the past four summers through the Schechter Seminary in Jerusalem. Zahara is a Diplomate of CPSP in the New York/New Jersey Chapter.
Since Zahara began the first CPE programs in 2006 interest in CPE and professional chaplaincy is growing in Israel. This May, the NAJC invited a delegation of about fifteen ACPE and CPSP leaders to attend the Fourth National Conference on spiritual care in Jerusalem. There were about 140 Israelis from 20 organizations all doing creative things in spiritual care. Our CPSP delegation included Rev. Dr. Annari Griesel, Rabbi David Glicksman, and Rev. Dr. John deVelder. The plan was for leaders of both organizations to consult with leaders in Israel about Standards and ways of developing CPE programs that fit the Israeli context.
John deVelder with Devorah Corn of Tishkofet (Life's Door) one of 20 organizations at the Conference, Cecille Asekof, Executive Director of NAJC and Teresa Snorton, Executive Director of ACPE
Many of the ACPE delegation are members of the ACPE Board. They saw the effect of four years of CPSP work and they remarked that cooperating with CPSP made sense. Some said that we should do more projects together. Out of these cordial and enthusiastic conversations about the exciting things happening in Israel several ACPE leaders offered to speak up in the ACPE Board to work toward mutual understanding and cooperation. What an outcome of a trip to Israel that ACPE and CPSP might begin a peace process.
John deVelder explaining the Chapter model of CPSP to spiritual care Leaders in Israel
We in the CPSP delegation are hopeful that both organizations will enter into a process to develop ways of dealing with conflicts and find more ways to work together in the important work of Clinical Pastoral Education not only in Israel but also in the USA and all over the world.
_____________
Contact John DeVelder and Annar Griesel
Posted by Perry Miller, Editor at 7:14 PM