The College of Pastoral Supervision & Psychotherapy is a theologically based covenant community, dedicated to "recovery of the soul" and promoting competency in the clinical pastoral field.
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The approaching Plenary marking the 20th anniversary of the founding of the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy is both monumental and extraordinary, especially as one considers the historical opposition marshaled against such a community developing at all by those whose vision of the world prefers the enclave, monolithic, and linear instead of a dynamic, challenging, and renewing community that values human and social capital beyond all else.
Twenty years of CPSP is something of genuine importance to reflect on. Where better to begin reflecting than to consider the impact that the CPSP community has had on my life, vocation, and ministry. My story begins in 1988 prior to the CPSP community’s founding. I had just begun my seminary education. I must admit that beginning a seminary education after having completed a bachelor’s degree in philosophy at the State University of New York is similar to being asked to turn out the lights after so many years working in the clarity of sun light. A seminary education was not the liberating and life-grounding experience that working in the congregation had been for me for so many years before.
In 1994 however, I can remember applying and interviewing for my first unit of Clinical Pastoral Education at Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital in NYC. I had no idea what any of what was being spoken about in CPE was about. One thing I did pick up was that this was very different from seminary. In fact, it was the first time ever in all of my theological training and process for ordination that anyone had ever asked me the question that both stumped and stopped me in my tracks, “Belen, how did that patient visit make you feel?” I had never been asked how I felt by anyone. The question itself was not even a philosophical or theological question that I was accustomed to tackling. I proceeded to answer the question with the confidence born out of my command of speaking my mind, or so I thought. But again came the question: “Belen, it is not what you think, but what did you feel?” I can remember experiencing a sense of loss and being flustered, like falling in a deep swimming pool and not being able to find the bottom to support myself from drifting beyond my control. I can recall the sensation of reaching for straw because I did not have the vocabulary to describe my feelings.
That very day I learned in CPE that I had been trapped in a world that had not equipped me to be in touch with the very inner core of my emotional and feeling self. In fact, I had learned well how to bury and silence the various tones of my voice. It became clear to me what was meant in CPE when they spoke of “finding your voice.” It was the beginning of my journey that led to discovering my idiosyncratic self, as my supervisor Raymond Lawrence would frequently say.
Clinical Pastoral Education through the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy was a liberating experience for me. I can remember riding the trains in NYC as I returned home each day from the CPE training. I would want to talk to the people on the train just to practice how to illicit the fascinating stories of each living human document that I encountered on the way. Not only was I getting in touch with my voice, I was also experiencing the liberation of my soul to live in the here-and-now. It was for me a “recovery of soul.”
Much more happened in my life, vocation, and ministry as a result of my first unit of CPE in the mid-1990’s. It was also the year that I took risks in ministry that eventually led me to oppose the advice of my denominational officials who required that I follow their guidance and recommendations for ongoing ministry within the church. I refused, and as was to be expected, denominational staffers retaliated with attempts at defamation and ridicule. CPE opened my eyes to process oriented thinking. It also empowered me to own my own process. Clinical Pastoral Education through the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy was my “recovery of soul.”
I took ownership of my identity, professional development, vocation, and ministry. I did not know all that I was doing every step of way. But every step that I took was taken with ownership. I was not satisfied with my denominational representative’s guidance for my career and I decided to take the risk. It was something that I learned and gleaned from my CPE training. I learned how to listen not only to others’ narratives and stories. I also learned to listen to my own narrative and learned that I can write my own.
“Recovery of Soul” as envisioned in the Covenant of CPSP is not an abstract concept or theoretical construct. I can bet and win that bet by saying that “Recovery of Soul” is the living narrative of liberation experiences in the lives of the CPSP membership. The life and dynamic of our CPSP community is what most strikes the people that discover us.
I am grateful to the founding fathers and mothers in the College of Pastoral Supervision and Psychotherapy. Of these I must mention Raymond Lawrence and Dorothy Greet. I am sure that without their supervision I would not be the fulfilled person and professional that I have become.
So as we come together to celebrate the 20th anniversary of our idiosyncratic community, I want to encourage you to reflect and tell your personal narratives of recovery of soul. I am sure that it is made of the stuff of which our anniversary is in fact meant to celebrate. Happy 20th anniversary to CPSP and I look forward to seeing you at the Plenary!
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Click here to contact:
The Rev. Dr. Belen Gonzalez y Perez, CPSP Diplomate
Director of Pastoral Care and Education
The Long Island College Hospital
Brooklyn, New York
Posted by Perry Miller, Editor at March 15, 2010 6:14 PM
